Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Truth

This is not a rule per say. I figured if I have a blog I might as well use it to vent a little bit as well. Today I learned something that has been 21 years in the making. The world is made up of systems. The systems that affect us everyday are primarily the social systems which include things like morals and values. Thus far all of my rules have coincided with "positive" systems relating to beliefs, a higher power and internal peace. In this post I will speak of what some of you may view as a "negative" system. It's called the system of truth and it is this system that we ironically all try to lie about. In this system, the key to happiness is knowing how the system works and then abusing the shit out of it. Allow me to elaborate...

Many believe that the key to happiness may lie in material goods or doing good things or whatever else it is that they may convince themselves of. Although my goal here is to show you the way to happiness through my own pathetic lack of it, I feel it is my duty to show you both sides of the story. We could be all wrong and in fact I strongly believe we are in fact all incredibly delusional. The key to happiness is not doing right, giving to the poor, achieving goals or whatever else. In the real world happiness is the ability to commit as many sins as needed and still being able to sleep at night. Human consciousness negotiates our beliefs of right and wrong. However human consciousness is not a general, universal concept that is similiar across the board. Human consciousness is unique to you and only you. Thus someone may be able to break someone's heart, lie, cheat, steal and deceive a friend all in one day but as long as they are able to justify it to themselves, there is no problem. In fact this person is 7 steps ahead of the rest of us aren't they? Not only do they get everything they want but they can screw over as many people as they want, walk over as many hearts as they want, lie to as many people as they want and at the end of the night, smile at themselves in the mirror and fall fast asleep. After all, there is no big book of wrongs and rights is there? At the end of the day, if a person thinks nothing is wrong with the actions they carry out then they have no issue. This is why I say perhaps the true route to happiness is doing whatever makes you happy, without giving a damn about anyone else's feelings or happines and then convincing yourself it's for the better. It's an essential survival mechanism that most of us lack but I guarantee you that the jerks, cheaters and assholes who screw us over daily have this ability.

Before I used to think that these people who walk all over everyone else are pathetic and can never be happy. Alot of people think like that don't they? You know what I think? I think we, the people who point at these jerks, are the unhappy ones who will never have the guts to step on someone else to get what we want. And in the end, when these people screw us over enough times we will wish every waking second that we were assholes too.

If I ever become one of those people who are pointed at and labelled a liar, cheater or jerk I pray to god someone will remember that once upon a time Lilly was a good person. I am a good person, I know I am. But I'm 21 and life isn't moving any slower. In fact years of regret and sorrow are passing me by. If being who I am isn't getting me anywhere yet, maybe it's time to make some changes.


  1. Your post made me think of something interesting. So, I decided to post as a comment what I think about people. These jerks, assholes, liars, and cheaters that you speak of, maybe once they were good too? Maybe life fucked with them so much that they had no other choice but to become a jerk. Maybe it was the ONLY way they could be happy. I don't think people should point at them and call them jerks and assholes, maybe everyone should take one step closer to these people instead of one step further. We should do our best to help bring them back to the once upon person they use to be, if it is still possible. If not, at least we know as being one of the good people out there, we tried whatever we can to help a person on the wrong path turn good again. Then maybe we could somehow sleep better at night, and feel happy that we TRIED something instead of feeling sorry for ourselves for being a victim of these people. After all, for people like us it’s about helping who ever we can right? I think if we tried to help the people that hurt us, we could somehow feel better about ourselves. If we succeed, we’ll feel powerful and happy. The person that once treated us like shit may now cherish us. This doesn’t mean we should give them the opportunity to screw up again; we should help them, if it works great, if not we stop and tell ourselves at least we tried. I think hating and feeling sorry won’t make a difference in life, but forgiving, helping, and not giving up on people will. Personally, I would rather be one of the good people who get hurt, instead of becoming one of the jerks that hurt people. No matter how much we fight the good in us, it will always prevail and by becoming a jerk, we will become more UNHAPPY!!

    P.S…Please don’t ever turn into one of the jerks, assholes, cheaters, or liars. You’re too good of a person, and it would be a shame. But, if you do I'm sure you will find your way back.

  2. Intriguing comment I must say. Some time back I would have responded and commented in a similiar way. I guess this comes from a difference in life experiences. By no means have I thrown my hands up in the air with exhaustion and said "well i give up im going to be a jerk now." For as long as I can remember I have constantly battled with myself to try to forgive people, to see the real in them and to try to help those who appeared to be in need. Once upon a time these actions did make me feel good about myself. However over time, when I finally tried to stand up after having been bent over backwards for so long, I realized that I didn't find happiness in my actions anymore. The world is a selfish place. No longer can I help others at the expense of myself. I want to live for myself and know what it feels like to be happy. Afterall, if you keeo doing the same thing, you cannot expect different results.

    I really appreciate your comment. Please drop your opinion here more often. And I would love to know who "Higher" is...

    1. We will never forget the good Lilly, because she will never leave, she will always be our favourite superhero. Everybody is gonna be stepped on. I have been, many times. But each time I got up, and moved forward. We all learn lessons from these so-called "jerks", we become stronger and smarter. If we all gave up our good sides and proceeded to be cheaters and liers, how would the world be? Even one person can make a diffrence. No matter what happens, I will never hurt someone on purpose just to feel good about myself. If I can do it, why can't you? Be the change you want to see in the world right?

    2. Dear Lilly,

      I wonder if you ever come back to read this blog. Aside from that... I agree with "Higher' position on this article. After being bullied for many years and falling into depression, when I finally overcame it I realized that these jerks, assholes, liars,hoes, and other names were probably bullied when younger or had a dark expeience that changed them into the person they were today. They thought that by putting other people down and trying to prove that they are better than you would make them feel better which infact it does. After taking your advice from both you and other comments in your blog, I finally forgave all these people that once have bullied me an regained control in my life. I now have a small circle of friends that accept me for my crazy ways and love me no matter what. In your previous post you mentioned that you would be happy if this blog posts affected anyone... TRUST ME.. this blog gave me a new source to come to. Despite the age difference that I have with you.. it felt like you were a friend to me. Someone who understood my problems and new what to say. After seeing your videos when they first came out and stumbling across this blog later on I became a changed person..

      THANK YOU.. for not letting the deep depths of where you prevously were engulf you and turn you into one of those awful people. If you ever come back to this blog and read it. please remember that YOU are an inspiration to many people out there and it has been refreshing to see how much you have become visibly happier since I saw your Guide to Brown Girls 1 video. Wishing you the best of luck in your future and I am looking forward to see what it has in store for you!

      Unicorn since (almost) the Beginning : )

  3. Woah! The 21 year old Lilly 😱😱 this blog has a really strong message, and this was made by the 21 year old Lilly!