This is not a rule per say. I figured if I have a blog I might as well use it to vent a little bit as well. Today I learned something that has been 21 years in the making. The world is made up of systems. The systems that affect us everyday are primarily the social systems which include things like morals and values. Thus far all of my rules have coincided with "positive" systems relating to beliefs, a higher power and internal peace. In this post I will speak of what some of you may view as a "negative" system. It's called the system of truth and it is this system that we ironically all try to lie about. In this system, the key to happiness is knowing how the system works and then abusing the shit out of it. Allow me to elaborate...
Many believe that the key to happiness may lie in material goods or doing good things or whatever else it is that they may convince themselves of. Although my goal here is to show you the way to happiness through my own pathetic lack of it, I feel it is my duty to show you both sides of the story. We could be all wrong and in fact I strongly believe we are in fact all incredibly delusional. The key to happiness is not doing right, giving to the poor, achieving goals or whatever else. In the real world happiness is the ability to commit as many sins as needed and still being able to sleep at night. Human consciousness negotiates our beliefs of right and wrong. However human consciousness is not a general, universal concept that is similiar across the board. Human consciousness is unique to you and only you. Thus someone may be able to break someone's heart, lie, cheat, steal and deceive a friend all in one day but as long as they are able to justify it to themselves, there is no problem. In fact this person is 7 steps ahead of the rest of us aren't they? Not only do they get everything they want but they can screw over as many people as they want, walk over as many hearts as they want, lie to as many people as they want and at the end of the night, smile at themselves in the mirror and fall fast asleep. After all, there is no big book of wrongs and rights is there? At the end of the day, if a person thinks nothing is wrong with the actions they carry out then they have no issue. This is why I say perhaps the true route to happiness is doing whatever makes you happy, without giving a damn about anyone else's feelings or happines and then convincing yourself it's for the better. It's an essential survival mechanism that most of us lack but I guarantee you that the jerks, cheaters and assholes who screw us over daily have this ability.
Before I used to think that these people who walk all over everyone else are pathetic and can never be happy. Alot of people think like that don't they? You know what I think? I think we, the people who point at these jerks, are the unhappy ones who will never have the guts to step on someone else to get what we want. And in the end, when these people screw us over enough times we will wish every waking second that we were assholes too.
If I ever become one of those people who are pointed at and labelled a liar, cheater or jerk I pray to god someone will remember that once upon a time Lilly was a good person. I am a good person, I know I am. But I'm 21 and life isn't moving any slower. In fact years of regret and sorrow are passing me by. If being who I am isn't getting me anywhere yet, maybe it's time to make some changes.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Rule # 3
Throughout my life, especially within the past few years, I have made my decisions in accordance to Rule #2. There have been many times in which I have put others before myself. There have been times where I have made decisions that protected someone else but have sigificantly hurt me. According to Rule #2 it is better to have wrong done on to you than to do wrong on to others. I believe this is very true however like most things in life, every rule has an exception. Rule #3 is that exception.
Rule of Happiness #3: Know where to draw the line. It is possible to be a good and caring person without giving up your own happiness. Do not sacrifice your happiness for someone else's, nor should you request this sacrifice of someone else.
Why do we hesitate to graffiti on a newly painted wall? Why is it so much harder jumping on a made bed as opposed to one that is already messy? Why is it that we hesitate to step on freshly fallen snow? We don't step on fresh snow because it doesn't have any footprints on it. However if we see a patch of snow covered with footprints we are more likely to step on it. The same concept applies to people. If people see footprints all over you they may be more willing to try taking a step. Overtime a person covered with footprints becomes a doormat. However if you do not allow yourself to be stepped on in the first place you've stopped a stampede of people that may have been heading your way.
Rule #2 maintains that selfish acts will not take you to a heavenly state of mind. This rule needs to be applied with caution. There will be certain situations in life in which you need to be selfish. Making a decision that protects someone else but so badly hurts you will obstruct your heavenly state of mind because at the end of the day we are only human. In a situation that is critical to your happiness, it is okay to be selfish. If you decide to be selfless and torture yourself for the sake of someone else's happiness, in essence you've allowed for a footprint to be imprinted on you. Next time around, with the weight of one footprint on you already, you will be more willing to let someone else step on your happiness. Also, chances are that when a self-less decision is made, the favour will not be returned. What is my proof of this? I have no proof but I do have a theory. If someone is able to make happiness out of your sacrifice, they are stepping on your chance to be happy. If and when the roles are reversed why would the same person allow you to step on their happiness? By that time, they would have become to used to imprinting footprints on you while they themselves have not a single mark. What makes you think that clean slate will so willingly take a hit?
Again it is important to note that this applies to situations that are of importance to you. It is also important to note that you yourself should not allow anyone to sacrifice their happiness for you because then you have become the walker. The walker seldom achieves a heavenly state of mind. Therefore it is crucial to know where to draw the line and apply Rule #3. Being selfish when a decision is very important to you does not make you any less of a good person. And if you have not been applying Rule #3 you need not be discouraged. After all, a patch of snow covered with footprints can always be shovelled.
Do not be a walker. Do not be the walked on. Be happy.
Rule of Happiness #3: Know where to draw the line. It is possible to be a good and caring person without giving up your own happiness. Do not sacrifice your happiness for someone else's, nor should you request this sacrifice of someone else.
Why do we hesitate to graffiti on a newly painted wall? Why is it so much harder jumping on a made bed as opposed to one that is already messy? Why is it that we hesitate to step on freshly fallen snow? We don't step on fresh snow because it doesn't have any footprints on it. However if we see a patch of snow covered with footprints we are more likely to step on it. The same concept applies to people. If people see footprints all over you they may be more willing to try taking a step. Overtime a person covered with footprints becomes a doormat. However if you do not allow yourself to be stepped on in the first place you've stopped a stampede of people that may have been heading your way.
Rule #2 maintains that selfish acts will not take you to a heavenly state of mind. This rule needs to be applied with caution. There will be certain situations in life in which you need to be selfish. Making a decision that protects someone else but so badly hurts you will obstruct your heavenly state of mind because at the end of the day we are only human. In a situation that is critical to your happiness, it is okay to be selfish. If you decide to be selfless and torture yourself for the sake of someone else's happiness, in essence you've allowed for a footprint to be imprinted on you. Next time around, with the weight of one footprint on you already, you will be more willing to let someone else step on your happiness. Also, chances are that when a self-less decision is made, the favour will not be returned. What is my proof of this? I have no proof but I do have a theory. If someone is able to make happiness out of your sacrifice, they are stepping on your chance to be happy. If and when the roles are reversed why would the same person allow you to step on their happiness? By that time, they would have become to used to imprinting footprints on you while they themselves have not a single mark. What makes you think that clean slate will so willingly take a hit?
Again it is important to note that this applies to situations that are of importance to you. It is also important to note that you yourself should not allow anyone to sacrifice their happiness for you because then you have become the walker. The walker seldom achieves a heavenly state of mind. Therefore it is crucial to know where to draw the line and apply Rule #3. Being selfish when a decision is very important to you does not make you any less of a good person. And if you have not been applying Rule #3 you need not be discouraged. After all, a patch of snow covered with footprints can always be shovelled.
Do not be a walker. Do not be the walked on. Be happy.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Rule # 2
One of the biggest battles that takes place within me is the battle between right and wrong. In essence it is the battle between the heart (emotions) and the mind (thoughts). The heart can often be protected from pain by committing selfish acts. For example the daughter of a hard working single mother may rebel when introduced to the thought of her mother meeting other men. Pain is avoided and she selfishly creates an ideal situation for her heart to smile regardless of her mothers wants and needs. However the other side of the battlefield has a strategy too tactical to let the battle end that easily. The mind takes a shot and feelings of guilt become harder to suppress. The question becomes what is better: a narrow path of happiness accompanied by a noisy mind, or a guilt free mind with an aching heart?
Neither, both suck.
When we analyze the cause of war within us we see that we don't have to pick either option. One of the main reasons that people attempt to do what is right is because of the belief that good things happen to good people, whether it be labelled karma or going to heaven. Thus the belief is that if you do good things now, you will be rewarded later. This delay of gratification is a lie.
Rule of Happiness # 2: The concepts of heaven and hell are not confined to places above and below us in the afterlife. Heaven and hell can be achieved during life, everyday, through a state of mind and being.
With this mindset the battle within us becomes incredibly skewed. Doing right becomes so much easier as it now serves two purposes: 1) it eliminates feelings of guilt and 2) allows an aching heart to be healed by heaven this very day. Thus is it better to be guilt free then guilty. Heaven can cure an aching heart because heaven makes you FEEL good. Heaven cannot however CONVINCE you of your innocence. Thus the next time you have a hard decision to make do not decide to do the right thing because hopefully later on in life it will pay off. Know that doing the right thing will take you to heaven on earth today. Heaven is a feeling within you.
It is better to have wrong done on to you then to do wrong on to others. When we realize this only then will heaven be reached.
Neither, both suck.
When we analyze the cause of war within us we see that we don't have to pick either option. One of the main reasons that people attempt to do what is right is because of the belief that good things happen to good people, whether it be labelled karma or going to heaven. Thus the belief is that if you do good things now, you will be rewarded later. This delay of gratification is a lie.
Rule of Happiness # 2: The concepts of heaven and hell are not confined to places above and below us in the afterlife. Heaven and hell can be achieved during life, everyday, through a state of mind and being.
With this mindset the battle within us becomes incredibly skewed. Doing right becomes so much easier as it now serves two purposes: 1) it eliminates feelings of guilt and 2) allows an aching heart to be healed by heaven this very day. Thus is it better to be guilt free then guilty. Heaven can cure an aching heart because heaven makes you FEEL good. Heaven cannot however CONVINCE you of your innocence. Thus the next time you have a hard decision to make do not decide to do the right thing because hopefully later on in life it will pay off. Know that doing the right thing will take you to heaven on earth today. Heaven is a feeling within you.
It is better to have wrong done on to you then to do wrong on to others. When we realize this only then will heaven be reached.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Rule # 1
Some think god is simply human consciousness. This may be true, who am I to disagree. All I know is that the thought of god helps me get through my days and that's what really counts. Whether you believe in god or not, during times of need you tend to look up dont you? My views are influenced by my religion. That is not to say that I agree with everything sikhism stands for or everything the gurus have said because I don't. However a lot of what I know stems from the teachings of Sikhism. A lot of what I say may seem like common sense however I've learnt that common sense isn't as common as we think. My posts are not intended to offend anyone or imply anything. They are intended to share a wealth of knowledge that I like to think I have.
Happiness Rule # 1: Be Grateful - Don't view life like a 4x6 photo. When you open your eyes and see the bigger picture, only then will you truly be content with all you have.
The rich teen wants a car. The average teen wants a plasma tv. The poor teen wants a new pair of shoes. The dead teen died 8 years ago of starvation and thus...is not a teen at all. Our wants are irrational at times aren't they? We are incredibly ungrateful at times. When something goes wrong we are so quick to look up and ask for help. Why is it that we only remember God when we need help? If this is the case, shouldn't we be saying thank you every time he blesses us with something? We are all guilty of it. Take a second to appreciate what you have. Maybe while driving instead of giving the bad driver infront of you the finger, take a longer look at the sunset beside you. Instead of complaining about not getting what you wanted for your birthday, take a look around and appreciate all the things your single mother struggled to buy you. Instead of torturing yourself with the thought of relationship problems, realize that god has given you the beautiful ability to love and no matter how much you hurt sometimes, you will love again.
The argument is usually that when you are living a certain life, its hard to disassociate yourself from your own problems. Of course everyone knows that someone out there has it worse but the difficulty is applying this knowledge. In other words, the difficulty is moving away from the 4X6 shot of your life you are looking at and instead realizing the bigger picture of life.
Thus, don't cry over not getting a few toys here and there, because then your eyes will be too swollen to see that god has given you the world as your playground.
Happiness Rule # 1: Be Grateful - Don't view life like a 4x6 photo. When you open your eyes and see the bigger picture, only then will you truly be content with all you have.
The rich teen wants a car. The average teen wants a plasma tv. The poor teen wants a new pair of shoes. The dead teen died 8 years ago of starvation and thus...is not a teen at all. Our wants are irrational at times aren't they? We are incredibly ungrateful at times. When something goes wrong we are so quick to look up and ask for help. Why is it that we only remember God when we need help? If this is the case, shouldn't we be saying thank you every time he blesses us with something? We are all guilty of it. Take a second to appreciate what you have. Maybe while driving instead of giving the bad driver infront of you the finger, take a longer look at the sunset beside you. Instead of complaining about not getting what you wanted for your birthday, take a look around and appreciate all the things your single mother struggled to buy you. Instead of torturing yourself with the thought of relationship problems, realize that god has given you the beautiful ability to love and no matter how much you hurt sometimes, you will love again.
The argument is usually that when you are living a certain life, its hard to disassociate yourself from your own problems. Of course everyone knows that someone out there has it worse but the difficulty is applying this knowledge. In other words, the difficulty is moving away from the 4X6 shot of your life you are looking at and instead realizing the bigger picture of life.
Thus, don't cry over not getting a few toys here and there, because then your eyes will be too swollen to see that god has given you the world as your playground.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Happy Birthday Blog
No it is not my birthday. Today is the birth date of my blog and similiar to most irresponsible teenagers these days, I did not intend on giving birth, it just happened. I've never read a blog and I've never written one. In fact similiar to the irrational activity of twittering, blogging seemed absolutely useless to me. However as I was doing my usual Facebook stalking I came across Remy's profile. A combination of boredom and procrastination of school work encouraged me to click the link for his blog. Honestly, it was about nothing (sorry remy) but entertaining none the less. The idea of a blog suddenly seemed so "freeing". Shruthi later told me the word I am looking for is "liberating". Her advanced vocab sealed the deal and here I am. Happy Birthday Blog!
At 14, I couldn't wait until I turned 21. I am 21 now and I wish at 14, I wasn't so stupid. No, actually that's a lie. Everytime we are in a bad situation we just can't seem to wait until we can move on to that next stage of life. However every stage of life has its rollercoaster rides. I am currently on one. As cliche as it sounds I am trying to find myself and bring peace to the internal battles that take place within me everyday. Here it is in a nutshell: 2 years ago I had a decent amount of faith in the world and in people. I was a pretty religious sikh and loved the feeling of serenity that prayer could bring. Then, my rollercoaster pulled a Behemoth and came shooting down. I need not bore you with the details but as a result I have become cynical, pessimistic and somewhat bitter. Do I want to stay this way? No. Do I want to go back to my old ways? No. What I do want is to restore my faith, however not at the expense of my newly gained knowledge. Faith will not protect you from the realities of life and this I have learned the hard way. Thus welcome the new Lilly, a faithful person with positive views who knows very well that not all people are good, not all promises are kept and every rose has its thorns. But you know what, in the end, it doesn't even matter. I'll show you why... I am going to tell you the rules of happiness.
At 14, I couldn't wait until I turned 21. I am 21 now and I wish at 14, I wasn't so stupid. No, actually that's a lie. Everytime we are in a bad situation we just can't seem to wait until we can move on to that next stage of life. However every stage of life has its rollercoaster rides. I am currently on one. As cliche as it sounds I am trying to find myself and bring peace to the internal battles that take place within me everyday. Here it is in a nutshell: 2 years ago I had a decent amount of faith in the world and in people. I was a pretty religious sikh and loved the feeling of serenity that prayer could bring. Then, my rollercoaster pulled a Behemoth and came shooting down. I need not bore you with the details but as a result I have become cynical, pessimistic and somewhat bitter. Do I want to stay this way? No. Do I want to go back to my old ways? No. What I do want is to restore my faith, however not at the expense of my newly gained knowledge. Faith will not protect you from the realities of life and this I have learned the hard way. Thus welcome the new Lilly, a faithful person with positive views who knows very well that not all people are good, not all promises are kept and every rose has its thorns. But you know what, in the end, it doesn't even matter. I'll show you why... I am going to tell you the rules of happiness.
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