Rule # 3

Throughout my life, especially within the past few years, I have made my decisions in accordance to Rule #2. There have been many times in which I have put others before myself. There have been times where I have made decisions that protected someone else but have sigificantly hurt me. According to Rule #2 it is better to have wrong done on to you than to do wrong on to others. I believe this is very true however like most things in life, every rule has an exception. Rule #3 is that exception.

Rule of Happiness #3: Know where to draw the line. It is possible to be a good and caring person without giving up your own happiness. Do not sacrifice your happiness for someone else's, nor should you request this sacrifice of someone else.

Why do we hesitate to graffiti on a newly painted wall? Why is it so much harder jumping on a made bed as opposed to one that is already messy? Why is it that we hesitate to step on freshly fallen snow? We don't step on fresh snow because it doesn't have any footprints on it. However if we see a patch of snow covered with footprints we are more likely to step on it. The same concept applies to people. If people see footprints all over you they may be more willing to try taking a step. Overtime a person covered with footprints becomes a doormat. However if you do not allow yourself to be stepped on in the first place you've stopped a stampede of people that may have been heading your way.

Rule #2 maintains that selfish acts will not take you to a heavenly state of mind. This rule needs to be applied with caution. There will be certain situations in life in which you need to be selfish. Making a decision that protects someone else but so badly hurts you will obstruct your heavenly state of mind because at the end of the day we are only human. In a situation that is critical to your happiness, it is okay to be selfish. If you decide to be selfless and torture yourself for the sake of someone else's happiness, in essence you've allowed for a footprint to be imprinted on you. Next time around, with the weight of one footprint on you already, you will be more willing to let someone else step on your happiness. Also, chances are that when a self-less decision is made, the favour will not be returned. What is my proof of this? I have no proof but I do have a theory. If someone is able to make happiness out of your sacrifice, they are stepping on your chance to be happy. If and when the roles are reversed why would the same person allow you to step on their happiness? By that time, they would have become to used to imprinting footprints on you while they themselves have not a single mark. What makes you think that clean slate will so willingly take a hit?

Again it is important to note that this applies to situations that are of importance to you. It is also important to note that you yourself should not allow anyone to sacrifice their happiness for you because then you have become the walker. The walker seldom achieves a heavenly state of mind. Therefore it is crucial to know where to draw the line and apply Rule #3. Being selfish when a decision is very important to you does not make you any less of a good person. And if you have not been applying Rule #3 you need not be discouraged. After all, a patch of snow covered with footprints can always be shovelled.

Do not be a walker. Do not be the walked on. Be happy.